dismantling my own sexuality - devon webb

I’m in the weird position

of trying to dismantle my own sexuality

or not my sexuality but rather

the reputation assigned me because of it

I want to make the point

that I can be open about the topic

write poetry all about it

share what I want when I want but

that doesn’t make you entitled

to make jokes or assumptions or commentary

& being sexual doesn’t mean I want to have sex

with everyone, all the time

it just means I want to break the taboos

which lead to communication issues & a

lack of understanding

& why should I hide something that makes me

happy, & empowered

or should do theoretically

yet lately I’ve swallowed so many thoughts on the matter

cos I got traumatised by everyone calling me a whore

& I don’t wanna talk about it

not here, not with you

not on anything that’s not my own terms

it’s not your business unless I want it to be

& don’t you understand you’re wrong about me

you’re missing half the story

years of pain & regret & discomfort

followed by a seven-month celibacy & sexual ascension

a power I never felt before

don’t you understand I’m not seventeen anymore

desperate for validation

skipping over respect

don’t you understand I’m a woman now

& you can get the fuck out of my bed unless you’re

blessing it.

Devon Webb is a 25-year-old writer based in Aotearoa New Zealand. She writes full-time, exploring themes of femininity, youth & neurodivergence. She shares her poetry online, through live performance, & has been widely published both locally & internationally. She is the two-time Wellington Slam Poetry Champion & is currently working on the final edits of her debut novel, The Acid Mile. Her work can be found on Instagram, Twitter & TikTok at @devonwebbnz.